Let There Be Light

Last week, after sharing something with a colleague,  I received a reply that triggered old trauma in me.  In the past, I might have become sidelined with fear and self-doubt, believing I ought to hide or forgo revealing myself any further.  

Sleeping on it,  I awoke the next day feeling off.  But instead of ruminating, I listened to the Earth around me.  This is called Dadirri.  I learned about Dadirri from a wonderful teacher, Margie Abbott.  The Indigenous People of Australia consider Dadirri to be a spiritual gift of deep inner-listening, and quiet, still awareness.  Margie also taught me how to “birth rituals”: how to weave the ingredients of daily life into stories of healing.

I paid closer attention…

It started raining.  Gently.  A light flickered through my closed eyelids.  I listened for the thunder.  Nothing.  Then far away… a very low rumble.  I kept listening.  Patiently.  Calmly.  Again, the lightning seeped through my lids.  No sound.  Then, still far away…   low rumbling.  Hmm.  What was the Universe trying to tell me?  This is what I heard:

No matter what, I always have my light.  I am light.  I can go gently.  I don’t have to blaze.  BUT… I am also thunder.  In the background.  In the distance.  I can protect myself, if and when I need to.  I remembered the Martin Luther King sermon,  “A Tough Mind and a Tender Heart”.  That’s me. 

I listened to the rain.  I let it wash away my confusion, my anger, hurt, self-doubt, fear, and my need to hurry or act on any of this.  Over the next couple of days, I found solutions to the issue at hand.  

Thank you, Margie. Thank you, Dr. King. Thank you, Earth.

“A Tough Mind and a Tender Heart” in Strength to Love by Martin Luther King, Jr.